Lost
by willgirl
Summary: Brennan feels lost after a revelation about Booth. Oneshot. Inspired by Lost by Anouk.


**A/N: Well, I was attempting to go to bed but I wrote this instead. This is inspired by the song Lost by Anouk. It's very beautiful and the link is in my profile. It's definitely worth it to listen while reading. I hope you enjoy. Oh, and my Bones message board changed recently and we are at wwwdottheabydotorg so come check us out! You can find my new Bones podcast there too!**

Brennan sat on the porch swing, it creaking slightly as she trailed her hands along the worn wood, the white paint beginning to chip away. A breeze brushed across her face and she remembered when her dad had taken her to catch fireflies out in the woods one day when she was eight years old.

She could taste that moment, feel every breath, hear every sound, even years later.

There was something about a firefly that was so reassuring. They were a beacon in the dark, there to help you find your way home, as her father used to say.

She watched the sun set slowly, the orange and purple hues slowly shimmering away. Letting a sigh slip from her tightly guarded lips, she continued to stare out into the field, hoping to find some meaning in the waving grass.

It wasn't like her to be like this. She could find an answer for everything in science but this feeling. She would liken it to being ripped apart from the inside and yet she knew that wasn't scientifically possible. How could she reconcile the two?

She heard the squeak of a screen door and knew her father was watching her. Probably worried. He had the same concerned look on his face after she drove her and parked herself on this swing, not saying a word.

After he was set free, her father found an old farm and converted it into a house. There were wide open spaces and Russ, Amy and the girls absolutely loved it. It wasn't that far from her either and even though, at first, she was hesitant to visit, she soon became a regular, bringing mac and cheese and beating her dad at a variety of card games.

It was Booth who encouraged her to come, to repair ties with the father who abandoned her so many years ago.

Booth.

The thought of her soon to be ex-partner unleashed a wave of pain that caused her to bend over slightly, as if she was being physically injured.

She couldn't explain it, couldn't rationalize why after five years of working together, she realized that she had feelings for him. Feelings that she couldn't, wouldn't equate to anything other than love. Yes, she was in love.

It seemed ridiculous, considering she spent many years trying to prove it didn't exist.

Perhaps because she wasn't in the right kind of love.

The one where people burst into song and everything was sunshine and flowers.

No, this love hurt, it caused her pain and she wished she had never come to the realization that shook her to the core only weeks earlier.

She hadn't told anyone. Angela would say that she should chase him, steal him away and make him hers. Angela lived in a fairytale sometimes.

Instead, she made a decision. She couldn't do this with him anymore. They had been growing distant anyway, their friendship hindered by the fact that they no longer spent enormous amounts of time together and she finally decided that she needed a break.

She handed in her request for sabbatical to Cam and informed him by email and then left. She had packed up and intended to go to the airport, heading off to some exotic location where she could be elbows deep in bodies and forget that her partner was in love with someone else.

He was. They were getting married and he was so happy. She was everything that he needed, a good mother, a great wife, with a normal job, everything that was important.

After she realized that she loved him, the thought that followed was one of sadness. He was so happy and she wouldn't spoil that. They would never be good together anyway. They were just too different.

But instead of going to another body site, she ended up here, on this swing, trying to determine how to live her life without Seeley Booth.

Hearing movement behind her, she turned her head. "Dad, I..."

She stopped short when her eyes met those of her partners.

"Booth." She said, unable to keep the slight tremble out of her voice.

He gestured to the swing and she shifted, giving him room to sit down.

She stared straight ahead, trying to concentrate on the few dandelions in front of her, hoping that he couldn't see what she felt, begging that his intuition, his gut feeling would fail him this time.

Then she felt it.

The tip of his finger had grazed her arm, making the little hairs stand up on end. He trailed his fingers down her arm to her wrist and she could barely breathe. The dandelions in front of her had become blurry, the squeak of the porch swing had faded in her mind and instead, her senses were trained on his fingers, moving past her wrist and to her fingers. He finally shifted his fingers and clasped her hand tight, giving it a slight squeeze.

The last vestiges of the sun faded beneath the hill and for a moment, it was completely dark.

But then.

She saw a firefly.


End file.
